Deep Thoughts-Why We Moved to the Midwest

Hope you all had a great 4th of July! Last weekend was kind of a low key weekend for us, being new to town and not knowing anyone and not being in our home. We got a taste of July 4th, though, here in Nebraska and people take their July 4th celebrations serious around here! Fireworks are legal {unlike in California} and there was a fireworks stand pretty much on every.single.corner. It was like Starbucks in NYC! People started setting off fireworks in the morning on Sunday {Which I still don’t understand. It’s light out, people. Guess they wanted to light something on fire and see it explode!} and just driving down the street starting at dusk on Sunday, there were fireworks going off all around us! It is a non-stop celebration with full on fireworks shows on display in people’s driveways/streets!!! It will be fun to experience this next year!

Today I thought I’d get a bit more personal and share a little bit of the story behind our recent move. It’s been quite a roller coaster of emotions for me and today I can say I’m feeling ok about it all. Not great, not bad, just ok.  I’m accepting of it and more comfortable with it, which may be a result of us being in the home stretch of at least being in our new home, but whatever it is, I’ll take it. Settle in…maybe get a snack…this is kind of a long post!

Here’s a little background first on how we got to San Diego in case you don’t know the story. Both my husband and I are originally from the San Francisco Bay Area.  Jason and I are high school sweet hearts. We started dating senior year of high school and he went off to the US Naval Academy and I stayed in California and went to UC Davis. We dated all 4 years of college long distance and got married the fall after college graduation. We lived in Rhode Island for 6 months while he went to Surface Warfare school before heading to San Diego for his first Navy tour. We ended up getting super lucky and had all 3 of his tours in San Diego, and ultimately lived in San Diego 13 1/2 years. About 12 years ago we bought our first home {which is now a rental for us} and fixed up every inch of it.

Fast forward to finding our second home in San Diego. Years before we lived there I would drive by this house and think to myself “If I could live in that house and raise a family, I’d be the happiest girl.” Almost 5 years ago we were driving around that neighborhood randomly and saw that there was a for sale sign in the front yard. Long story short, I got my wish. And for 4 1/2 years it was such an amazing home for our little family. So many wonderful memories, and love, sweat and tears were poured into that home. We met amazing friends and had the best neighbors. We loved our kids’ schools and our little community.

Then last summer, we took an amazing road trip across America to the Midwest in search of Jason’s family history, to visit friends along the way and see our beautiful country. We loved the Midwest and on our vacation high {you know, where money and calories don’t count?} thought we could totally move here. It was easier to imagine while we were on vacation, during summer. We weren’t in our normal routine, seeing friends and neighbors every day because of summer. And during those long driving days on that road trip, we researched, talked, talked, and talked some more about moving. Then we kept talking about it all through the Fall and took another trip in late November to see if we did in fact really like it, or was it just vacation mode that made us think we could move everything and everyone across the country. At that point, I didn’t really want to move. We were back to regular life, I was busy with design projects for my business, kids were back in school and sports and I loved our little life. However, I liked both areas of the Midwest we visited in the Fall and told Jason that if he got a good job opportunity, I would consider the move.

So he applied for a few jobs and I guess I gave him the green light! I remember giving him the go ahead on one, but not the application for the job he eventually got :) I thought we were settling even more into our community and life in San Diego. As 2015 wrapped up, we were much more involved in our church community, my business was busy, and our friendships were deepening. I kept praying for us to be guided one way or another. I felt it was too difficult of a decision to make on our own. We needed to hand it over, if that makes sense.

By February, the job he originally applied for had evolved into a different position and he got the job. And we both felt he couldn’t pass it up. Even with me knowing it was a great opportunity for him, I was so hesitant and scared. How were we {really me} going to do this? How was I going to move us all half way across the country, while pregnant, and make a life for our family in a brand new place? And oh how I would miss our life in San Diego.

This past Spring was a whirlwind couple of months. We were getting our home ready to sell, and then selling our home, all the while Jason was commuting back and forth from Nebraska to California every weekend. I was 6, 7, and 8 months pregnant with 3 little ones on my own the majority of the time, and packing up our home and wrapping up projects for my design business. We moved, {our stuff still hasn’t} bought a new home and started renovations on that new home while we are living at an extended stay hotel. Oh, and we had a sweet little baby girl, making our family of 5 now a family of 6, three weeks after moving to a new place!!!  We had to move before school got out because of the baby. We knew if I stayed in California to have the baby, there was a good chance Jason would miss the birth.  I was pushing it even moving at 36 weeks so my oldest could get through most of baseball season and they all could finish as much school as possible. We felt it was best to be “settled” here for having the baby. I put “settled” in quotes because really we are anything but settled!

And here we are. I still don’t really know how we got here. I know I must have felt the stress of our life in San Diego and known it was right to contemplate this huge life decision or else I wouldn’t have considered it. We’ve joked on numerous occasions, and me many times through tears, that it felt like we are on mile 6 of a marathon and we got lost. We are just making loops and have no idea where we were going! As of today, we are probably on mile 21 0r 22, and we are already limping, but we’re still moving our legs!

I wrote this on Instagram a few days ago:

This current season of mine is both very familiar and totally foreign to me, all at the same time, and I’ve been thinking a lot of how I will approach this transition for both me and my family.

This is definitely a season of transition for me/us. This has been one of the most challenging, if not the most challenging years for me personally. And a few weeks ago as I was telling Jason this, we both laughed because I said “And this has probably been one of your best years so far,” and he laughed and said “I wasn’t going to say it, but I thought ‘Funny, because this has been one of my best years yet!’ ” Funny how that is. My husband is so happy doing his job. He was made for a job like he’s in now and enjoying every minute of it. And I’m so happy for him.

But I miss him. He worked from home about 95% of the time in San Diego. We were around each other most days. We would have lunch dates together or meet up in the kitchen to chat and have a snack when we were both home. It took a year to figure out our groove of him working at home. We had a 2 year old and an infant when he first started working from home and I figured if I could see him, he should be helping me! We got into our routine, though. I could leave a baby for their nap while I ran out to pick up the older ones from school, to run an errand, etc. I will now be doing that all on my own with 4 little ones in tow. I know parents do this every day, and I’m not complaining. It will just be a big adjustment for me once school starts.

We don’t have any family in the area, and I know no one except for one of my best friends who lives 35 minutes away, which has already been such a blessing. However my friends back in San Diego, my tribe of mamas and families that I could count on, that shared our same values and concerns…I’m going to miss those people. Jason and I commented on a regular basis about “How did we get so lucky to move into this neighborhood and make such amazing friends?” We are going to miss our kids friends, our sports communities, our church community, even our gym. I lived and worked in our little pocket of San Diego about 11 of those years, and I felt comfortable.

 

I feel like we would have had a wonderful summer with a new baby, good friends, and older kiddos. I am missing “home.” But I have to accept this is our new home, and make the most of it.  As much for my kiddos as for me. This summer isn’t going to go down as the “Best Summer Ever” but it’s definitely one we won’t forget. I know we’ll make friends and hopefully find our people. I’m thankful we have a kindergartener this Fall because everyone is starting new, even if they have older siblings at the school. And I know it’s going to be ok. I’m interested to see how this next chapter will unfold, and I’ll be keeping you all updated here on how it’s going making our new house and life feel like home!

 

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